Spotlight: MotherofBun of Midwestern Mommy

Spotlight: Lisa Bertrand (aka MotherofBun) Blog: Midwestern Mommy Blogging since: January 2005 Migraines since: 1995 Work: Entertainer, social calendar coordinator, grocery getter, meal maker, dog walker, bill payer, cake maker, landscaper, housekeeper. I also write for several sites and help manage product campaigns for Parent Bloggers Network. Advocacy: I volunteer at my son's school, and am a founding member of the St. Louis Blogger's Guild.

What’s it like to be a wife and mother with migraines?
Two words: Not fun! But you learn a multitude of things – like the importance of reaching out when you need help; how to prioritize, delegate, and manage your time. The trickiest thing is balancing your needs with those of your family. Are you getting enough sleep? Making time to eat right and exercise? To relax, and laugh with friends?

What do you wish you’d known at the start?
That I was having migraines! By my mid-twenties I’d been told by three different family physicians that my headaches were “just stress.” I asked my gynecologist, who referred me to an ear, nose and throat specialist. After five minutes, the ENT said, “You don’t have sinus headaches so I can’t help you.”
At the time, my health insurance wouldn’t pay for a specialist without a referral, but I couldn’t get anyone to refer me to a neurologist – even after several visits for the same complaints. Because I couldn’t get the proper diagnosis, I just kept taking a lot of aspirin and ibuprofen and ended up with an ulcer!
I also wish I’d known that managing migraines is a process of trial and error. You get to know your body well. You learn to listen closely. But having friends, family, and an employer who understands will get you through much of it. And having a doctor who takes the time to listen to your concerns, answer questions, and explain the different treatment approaches is essential.

What are your most common migraine triggers?
Allergies, weather changes, menstrual cycle changes, less than six hours of sleep for several days in a row, stress, and eating too much junk food. When my son was a toddler, I had a nine-month period where I was getting 15-25 migraines a month. I found out later it was largely due to my birth control pill.

The pill?
Yes. For some people, even the low-dose birth control pill can trigger a migraine. Apparently though, for some women, the pill helps decrease the frequency of their migraines.

How do you treat your migraines?
I’ve tried beta blockers, anti-anxiety, and even anti-epileptic drugs; none have been very effective. But since so many of my migraines are allergy/sinus related, now I take allergy medications, which have prevented quite a few attacks. I am so thankful for Nasonex and Zyrtec. (Some people also take Singulair with this combo. I don’t.) I also take an over-the-counter decongestant each night and use an extra pillow. The extra few inches in elevation seems to help. I’m assuming that helps with drainage. Currently, I’m trying out a new (to me) drug called Treximet to treat migraines as they arise.

How have the migraines affected your career path?
I’ve sought out more writing projects I can do from home. That way if I need to lay down, I can finish the project later when I’m feeling better. On the days I feel great I’ve learned to maximize my time. On the days I don’t, I’ve learned to prioritize. I don’t procrastinate. I get as much done on an assignment as early as possible. The last thing I want is to be finishing a project in the eleventh hour with a pounding headache.

Your personal relationships?
Oh, I get really cranky. My six-year-old son said recently, “You’re a lot nicer today than you were yesterday. I guess you don’t have a migraine.” On a positive note, when I’ve got a nasty migraine, my hubby will often take our son out to dinner or to a park so the house is quiet. They both end up really enjoying their “guy time” together.

What’s the hardest thing about raising children when you have migraines?
The guilt! When I’m in pain, I’m that mom who lacks patience and is easily irritated.

Since migraines are hereditary, does your son show any signs of inheriting them?
My paternal great-grandfather had them, his son (my paternal grandfather) had them. My dad had them. If my son has them he’d be the fifth generation (that we’d know of) to have them. So far, my son isn’t showing any signs of inheriting the migraines. But he’s six. Time will tell but hopefully not.

What made you start blogging?
My husband worked long hours and traveled heavily. I was a stay-at-home mom to a baby/toddler who hardly slept, hardly ate and did a lot of screaming. He was later diagnosed with sensory integration disorder.

What’s that?
A condition that occurs when your sensory signals aren’t being organized the right way. People with the disorder become overwhelmed by the sheer amount of sensory input that hits them when they walk into a store or go to the pool. Their brains can’t sort out the messages fast enough, making them feel overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed.
But basically? I felt isolated and craved a sense of community and a creative outlet.

Do migraines interfere with your blogging?
I usually post twice a week and typically have a few finished entries on hand in case I need to post something when I’m not feeling well. But a large part of blogging is reading other blogs and commenting. When I have a migraine, I do the bare minimum, so I don’t read a lot of blogs and am not “out there” promoting my own.

What most surprised you about blogging?
A lot of bloggers joke how our friends and family don’t know us nearly as well as our blog friends. Parent bloggers tend to post about their day-to-day thoughts, activities, beliefs, and life lessons. What’s amazing is the sense of community and the deep bonds that emerge. Over time, if you get the opportunity to meet a blogger you read often who reads you, it’s like meeting an old friend. Quite a few St. Louis bloggers meet up for dinner and drinks. We know we can talk about all things unblogable and that that information won’t leave the table.

What’s the best feedback you’ve received?
It’s always been uplifting to hear, “Thanks for sharing that. I’ve been through that too. Now I don’t feel so alone.” Recently, I wrote about a health issue. Another blogging friend read the post and said, “I’ve felt the same way lately but haven’t sought treatment. When I read your words, something inside me shifted and I finally made that appointment to go see a doctor.”

What is the worst?
Sometimes you get some unsettling comments. Once I wrote about my son playing in the toilet. He fell in face first. I joked that he’d given himself his first “swirlie.” Someone commented: “Too bad he didn’t drown. Then your problems would all be solved.” That broke my heart and made me wonder if I was giving the impression that my child is a burden.

What advice do you have for migraineurs?
You’ve got to be your own advocate. You’ve got to go to your doctor informed and prepared. Track the frequency of your migraines and try to uncover your triggers. The sooner you do, the sooner you can take steps to prevent them. Write your questions/symptoms on a post-it note so you don’t forget. If you get a doctor who dismisses your symptoms or doesn’t listen, find someone else. If you don’t understand the answer to a question, ask for clarification.

For their families?
Please know the stabbing, thunderous pain is very real. Don’t expect us to remember the finer details of a conversation we had with you during a migraine. If you can hold off on important conversations, do so. Also, don’t expect someone to cheerfully answer unnecessary questions. My husband knows not to ask, “Where do we keep the glue sticks?” when I’m flat on my back in a dark room with my palms pushed into my eye sockets.

Learn more about Lisa.

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