This is my first blog, so not sure exactly how this works, so here goes. I am a (almost) 54 year old…
This is my first blog, so not sure exactly how this works, so here goes. I am a (almost) 54 year old mom and grandma. I have been dealing with depression for almost 4 years, and also have issues with anxiety. Because it's not enough to be depressed, let's throw in some anxiety just for fun. I was so different before depression became my everyday enemy. I was a voracious reader, sometimes able to finish two books a week. In the last few years, I have started countless books, but have only finished 5 or 6. Getting together with friends on the weekends was something I looked forward to. Now, the thought of it makes my stomach get a big knot, and I usually stay home , and my husband goes by himself. My gardening was always a bright spot, I took pride in working in the flower beds, admiring the results. Now, it feels overwhelming to think of how much work it takes, and I let days go by without checking on things. My doctor has tried a number of meds and many different dosages, and all that seems to happen is I'm keeping the pharmactical companies in business. I have been able to see a slight difference in that I don't have crying jags every day, they are just spaced farther apart. But, my sense of still being on the edge of the "black hole" and falling in is always right there under the surface. I still don't wake up mornings feeling like I look forward to another day. Rather, I try to muster up enough energy to make it through another day. I have tried to get into a mental health clinic in my area, but they are overwhelmed with patients, and they never got back to me. I can't afford to fo find a therapist because my husband has been out of work for 3 years, and we have no insurance. In fact the cost of my meds is a drain on what little money we do have. I would just like to be able to find someone who understands how debilitating depression and talk about what I go through on a daily basis. Thanks, kamsgram.
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Comment by Janeen on May 14, 2009 at 9:20am -
kamsgram,
Thanks so much for sharing your experiences with us. For a first time blogger, you wrote a fantastic post.
Since your husband is out of work, do you qualify for Medicaid? You can find eligibility requirements for Medicare and Medicaid here.
The resources that Bob pointed out are fantastic! And I agree that it seems that talk therapy in conjunction with prescription therapy seems to be the best way to approach depression.
If you don't qualify for Medicaid, maybe you could look into some sort of state or county aid. I know that the county that I live in offers aid to those that can't afford private therapy.
I wish you luck and I hope you keep blogging. Writing down how you are feeling and what you are going through kind be a kind of therapy in and of itself.
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Comment by Bob Brooks on May 14, 2009 at 7:03am -
kamsgram, thanks for posting your thoughts and concerns about coping with depression. I too have wrestled with depression in my family, and it seems that talk therapy and meds help the most.
We've been lucky to have the insurance to cover a majority of the cost, but still, online advice from others has been therapeutic.
I have created healthcare educational materials for over 20 years, and the best description of depression I've read went something like this...
"Some people say that depression feels like a black curtain of despair coming down over their lives. Many people feel like they have no energy and can't concentrate. Even with treatment, change won't come overnight—but with the right treatment, you can keep depression from overshadowing your life."
Reducing the cost of Meds:
Have you looked into patient assistant programs to reduce the cost of meds? You might qualify…visit http://www.pparx.org
In the meantime, hang in there - - and consider these other resources that might be helpful to find treatment options:
www.depression.org
www.nmha.org
www.psych.org
Best,
Bob
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