Chronically Ill Patients Share 12 Tips with Nurses

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Chronically Ill Patients Share 12 Tips with Nurses
by Lisa Copen

The medical world could not function without nurses. It's no secret to any of us who has had a doctor's appointment or been in the hospital that a nurse can make all of the difference in our total experience and recovery process. Whether undergoing a routine procedure, scheduling a simple appointment, or being there beside us while the doctor has a serious conversation, a nurse's presence can determine how well we as the patient copes with the situation and emotionally processes the outcome.

Those of us with illness can be quick to criticize the nurses who hardly acknowledge us, who forget to bring our medications when we are in the hospital, and who seem to enjoy their job as the gatekeeper to their doctor a little too much.

But as a chronically ill patient we have a long list of encounters with nursing staff, so we must also fondly recall the nurses who made unquestionable improvements in our care by being our advocate when no one else would listen, or just by holding our hand while we received a underwent painful (and possibly lonely) procedure.

When I was recently checked into the hospital, the nurse had to push me outside from the wound care center around the hospital's construction zone walkway. Ironically, we both had rheumatoid arthritis and I made a new friend by our simple ten-minute conversation. Despite my infection, I felt much more comfortable by the time I got to the hospital.

As the editor of a magazine called HopeKeepers, I have attempted to find a nurse who would submit an article that would shed some light on what a typical day for a nurse is like at a doctor's office. I realize that it can be frantic, scheduling and rescheduling dozens of people, all who need to see the doctor today. Nurses try to please the physicians, check patients in, take health histories, give out lollipops and smile, all while attempting to do more than can be expected in the time allotted.

I have not yet found a nurse who was willing to even be interviewed for such an article; more than a few have even exclaimed, "If anyone found out, I would lose my job!"

The better chronically ill patients and nurses keep trying to improve communication and increasingly understand one anothers needs however, there is only room for trusting relationships. It's a relationship that (sadly) can last longer than a marriage.

Here are 12 tips chronically ill patients would like to give nurses:

[1] When you ask "Are you taking any medications?" and I hand you two pages with them listed, please don't look shocked or as if I am an addict.

[2] It grows tiring to always be the patient and only have people interested in my physical body. When you ask me about how I am coping with my illness emotionally, I feel like you really care. Sometimes it loosens me up enough that I may even be more comfortable and forthcoming about things that doctor may benefit in knowing about the physical symptoms.

[3] Thanks for celebrating little things with me, such as reaching a goal weight or decreasing a medication. I know you see these things every day, but to me they are a big deal. You are one of the few people who understand how hard it is for a chronically ill patient to reach these goals. Your enthusiasm makes me day!

[4] Logically, I know you don't know every medication on the market, but when you have to ask me how to spell the medication that is advertised in every womens magazine, I wonder how often you get out of the office.

[5] By simply telling me, "I don't know how you cope so well. I really admire your attitude and how you deal with this dease," I can float around for days.

[6] I appreciate it when you ask, "Would it be okay if I pray for you?" Some people may say no, but for many it will be the first time some cared enough to even ask.

[7] When there are times that I am having a medical procedure and my friends and family are not able to be there, having your hand to hold makes all the difference. I know many medical procedures may seem minor to you, but thank you for understanding that when it's happening to me, it's all major.

[8] When I'm in the hospital it's hard to give over the disbursement of all of my medications to you. I'm what some call a "professional patient" and used to taking care of myself; monitoring my pain level and knowing when and how much medication to take. When you go the extra mile and help me get medications on time, I really appreciate it. The time of day I take it can make a huge difference in my pain level for the day.

[9] I know that you are human and must have rough days too. It is okay to tell me, "Today has been a crazy day." You are certainly allowed to be moody, but let me know why in simple terms so I don't take it personally.

[10] I really do have a life, even if it's filled with medical visits, therapies, lab test, etc. I'm not trying to be difficult when you are scheduling appointments or trying to reach me. I just want my family to have as normal of life as possible despite my illness.

[11] I appreciate it when you are able to call in prescriptions so they are ready at the pharmacy when I get there. I know it's an extra step for you, but it helps me tremendously.

[12] When I'm stuck in the hospital, I appreciate the way you go out of your way to make it as pleasant as possible. Things like help in the shower, changing the sheets, or having a conversation about something normal, all help distract me from my surroundings. Thank you for treating me like a person and not a project.

Being chronically ill is not easy. Neither is the career of a nurse. By each person remembering to say, "thank you" and "I admire your strength," both the nurse and the patient can have an effective, even enjoyable, relationship.

Lisa Copen is the founder of Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week held each year in Sept and featuring a 5-day virtual conference w/ 20 speakers. Follow II Week on Twitter for cool prizes and info. Blog about invisible illness on your site, be a featured guest blogger, meet others, read articles and lots more. Make a difference!