What Are We Going To Do With Dad?

I came across this article from Health Affairs by geriatrician Jerald Winakur. In the article Winakur,

"looks at the "vast inland sea of elders" that is building and wonders where the doctors will come from
to care for them. Writing as the son of an eighty-six-year-old man with dementia, Winakur also details
the nitty-gritty of caring for an increasingly debilitated parent. In both of his roles—loving son and
highly skilled professional—he is hard pressed to alter a course that punishes his dad and tears at his
family. Even as medical science extends life, the future seen through his eyes is fraught with clinical
and moral quandaries."

I recommend this article to every caregiver to read. Even though Winakur is a doctor, he still doesn't know what to do about his father dementia. Even though he may know the latest research and information on medicine, when the disease happens to a loved one he is forced to look at it from a totally different point of view. He struggles with the question that his brother keeps asking him, "What are we going to do with Dad?" It is a difficult question that all children face who have aging parents, especially those suffering from dementia and Alzheimer's. He even describes in detail a dream he has where he kills his father in an attempt to stop his suffering.

Winakur offers some insightful advice on one of the realities of having aging parents,

"Our parents will become our children if they live long enough. Perhaps if we looked on our elderly in
this way, we would be kinder to them. They will become dependent on us, our stronger arms, our acts of
gentleness and caring. We will arrange for their meals, pay their bills, take them to their doctor visits,
sit by their bedsides at the hospital and in the nursing home."

I just thought this was an interesting article because it is from both a caregiver and a health care provider's point of view. A recommended read to caregivers and health care providers alike.