The infertility bond

One thing I found battling infertility was when you met someone else who had gone through it, it is an instant bond. You can be from completely different worlds and have nothing else in common, but you would be able to sit for hours and share your stories and commiserate with each other. What got me through my years of infertility was not my family or my friends or even my husband. It was the group of women I met on an online infertility bulletin board (which no longer exists). I forged bonds stronger than I knew possible. Going through infertility you not only share the emotional impact, but you share the most intimate details of your life. Many of these bonds turned into true every day friendships.

Once I entered the world of food allergy parents, I found the same thing was true. The bond from common suffering and anxiety and concern/fear for your child can be instantaneous. And I am sure that is true of any serious life event or crisis. No one can truly understand what you have gone through unless they too have been there and walked in those shoes.

A couple nights ago, I attended the third meeting of a new local food allergy support group that I have joined. It has been a wonderful help to me. It has been such a help to me to meet, in person with parents fighting the same battles, worries, fears and triumphs. Last night, after the meeting broke up, I was talking to a Mom. We both knew our daughters both suffered from food allergies. But through our conversation, I found out that we shared two other crises. Both of our husbands battled and beat Cancer. And...she too battled infertility (not to mention that we shared the same doctor). Once this clicked - our experiences with infertility dominated our conversation and left us standing in an empty doctor's office parking lot for an hour.

It was good to know that even though my battle with infertility ended 3 years ago, the bond with others who have traveled the same road has not.