PPD: More than an Afterthought

Postpartum depression (PPD) is moderate to severe depression that occurs in women in the days, weeks or months following the birth of their child. Onset is most commonly during the first 4 weeks postpartum, but can occur anytime during the year following birth. It occurs in approximately 13% of women. Symptoms are similar to those of major depression. Many women, as much as 80%, experience what is called the Baby Blues, which is a period of time after birth where exhaustion and hormonal changes wreak havoc on a woman's body and emotions, but it dissipates within two weeks. Postpartum depression, on the other hand, lingers longer and is more severe.

I frequently share my experiences with depression and other health challenges that I have faced, but rarely do I bring up my experience of postpartum depression. I suppose it is because I group it together with the whole topic of depression, but it deserves its own space, as many women are struck with this mental health issue and it is the first time they have ever experienced symptoms of depression.

For some reason, bringing home baby, can bring home a lot of other changes. The anxiety that comes with taking care of child along with sleep deprivation and hormonal changes are perfect breeding ground for depression. Just when you want most to feel your best and enjoy the time with your new baby, women find themselves struggling more than they ever have if they develop PPD.

I was so joyful when my daughter was born. I can't even begin to describe the feeling. If you are a mother, you probably know what I am talking about. Euphoria describes it well. But there is no denying, it was a difficult first week home. Week number two was even worse, as my daughter had colic and wasn't "latching on" so feeding was a mess. All I remember feeling was as if my life had turned into a horrible nightmare, something was very wrong with this picture. What a horrible thing to say or think, right? I clearly remember climbing into the shower sobbing, feeling as if it was not possible to face the day ahead. I was able to hold in my arms the most beautiful creation I had ever seen or imagined, but I couldn't cope with anything.

As my mom left to go back to her home, after staying with us for a week, she and I both distinctly remember me saying through my blinding tears, "Please don't go...you wouldn't leave me if I had cancer." I can't imagine how hard it was for her to go, but I can tell you I felt so completely and utterly alone in the world. All the "typical" symptoms, feelings of worthlessness, anxiety, complete social isolation (I would not let my best friend come see me for days, maybe even weeks), all the tell-tale signs were there. Lucky for me, I had the care of a good physician who helped me back on my feet. It took weeks and weeks of pushing myself, learning to accept my new reality, and the help of some medication, too. I loved my baby like I had never loved anything or anyone before, but that had nothing to do with the way my body and mind responded to the stresses of childbirth and motherhood.

It took me a long time to realize that it was okay to have had that experience, that it did not make me a bad mom. I came through and I loved, cuddled and nurtured my baby as best as I could during that time. In fact, I truly did a lot of that. By finding ways to take care of myself, I came through it. I can't say that I had a lot of support in my own home, but I still made it. I did not spend very much time on a computer at that time in my life. What a great relief it would have been to have been able to reach out to others who were experiencing the same. I think of the many women who don't have access to support via the internet or support in general, somewhat similar to what I experienced. It is a sad thought and it weighs heavy on my heart to think of anyone experiencing that pain by themselves. My sister-in-law was my lifeline at that time. She would call me almost daily and I would cry and she would tell me things would improve. Each time we spoke, she told me, it is going to get better. So with this post, I pass on that message of hope to anyone who might be suffering from postpartum depression: It's going to get better! (but please reach out for help)

My title for this post came after reading a blog post on Postpartum Progress, When Will a Celebrity Survivor of Postpartum Depression Step Up to ... It reminded me of my own responsibility as a health activist to speak up about this issue. I believe that when one has been through something themselves, they can offer a special kind of support and angle, that "I've been there and done that, I may be different from you, but I can relate." perspective that is really invaluable at times. I hope that others, will keep stepping up and share their stories, even if in a short version like mine here. I don't want to treat Postpartum Depression as an afterthought. The women who struggle with it deserve more than that.

Please consider sharing this post in your community. Other women in your community may need to hear that they are not alone. You can use this shortened link: http://bit.ly/9BXNBS

This post would also be a great place to share resources for those struggling with postpartum depression!